Category: Singles Spit Swap
Why isit that most guys just want to get into a girl's pants? It's so fucking annoying, and I fall for it so many damn times, but every girl probably has. The guys feed you the lines they know you'll like to hear, even know they always say, "I don't just tell you what you want to hear. I speak what I feel." Bullshit... There is the genuine guy who will speak the truth, but that's sometimes like finding a needle in a haystack... But when you find them, you'll know because does that random guy that wants you for your body know all your simple pleasures in life? Does he know exactly what you need when you're not feeling well? Does he know the signs you present when you're feeling a certain way? Usually, he does not. What do you think? Anyone?
wow, you sound like me. for the most part i have fallen for loosers and guys that only want to get into my pants, but, i never let them get that far. usually, you can tell the guys who want to kno you for you, and not for what's in your pants. if he's just feeding you lines cause he thinks it's what you want to here, then the tone of his voice will usually give it away. the other thing is, if he doesn't want to be in anyway romantic, or to kno how you feel, what you think, or what your interested in, or if he just comes around to get in your pants all the time (meaning if all he hangs around you for is to try and get a quick fuck from you), he's not worth the time of day. you'll find someone when you least expect it, or when the time is right.
Just know that it's not gendor specific. Usually, the girl isn't out to necessarily have sex with the guy in this case, but can use it, if it serves the purpose. Those people are just users and monipulators. People who are practiced in monipulation have a pretty good idea of the basic wants and needs of others, and use this knolege to exploit and get what they want or need. It's really sad. I've known lots of compulsive liars in my day, and I too, have fallen for the scams. I know a girl, not on the zone, who acted as though she absolutely worshiped me. She was in love with me, but she was actually so pushy that she sort of scared me. She had her reasons though, and it wasn't me, but what I could give her. When she found out that I was unwilling to open doors for her, she stabbed me in the back. I still to this day find out the truth behind lies she told me. It's sad really, but in a sick and twisted way, it makes me just wanna laugh at her. Most of the time though, these users can't seem to get ahead and have it good in life. No matter how much they get from others, notice that they're never satisfyed. Seems like no matter how well they plan things out, it always has a strange way of backfiring on them. This is just my ramblings and musings. Hope it will at least help you to know that you're not alone.
Men are very transparent.
We say what we feel and want, nothing more, there does not need to be any reading into things. If we say I don't want a relationship, but we still cuddle, and kiss, and are the sweetest guy ever, it still means that we don't want a relationship. If we say we want to eat pizza, it does not mean that we want to go out dressed nicely, have a good time, hang around and then, maybe then, get a pizza; it just means we want pizza.
We are not at all that confusing.
However, there are those guys that know exactly what to say, what a woman wants to hear, and they use this to get into her pants. So, if you hear things like: oh, you know I will never hurt you, you know I will never cheat on you, you know you are the only one and I would never do anything to change that; you probably have a liar on your hands.
We want sex because we are just made to want it. And, we can have sex and not develop any emotions for our partner because we were made that way too. Sex and emotions for a guy are two different things. Don't ever think that a guy that does not want a relationship will eventually change his mind. It does not matter how good of a
Person you are, how good you look, how amazing you might be; guys are all about timing, the right timing, and not about finding the right one. If we don’t think we can commit, if the timing is not right, well, it doesn’t matter who we are with, we won’t stick around for long.
So, in short, keep your ears open.
A thousand sweet little things in your ear will not change the fact that the guy just wants sex, and the truth is that in most cases, a guy who wants sex will hint at this, if not say this outright.
Remember that old saying: fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.
Ok, so I'm just curious why a guy that wants sex won't just act like he doesn't, and act like he wants the relationship, get the sex, then move on. I mean, that seems obvious to me. If girls know that guys say all those nice things to get sex, why not do the opposite, act like the guy who isn't just in it for the sex, get the sex, then reveal your true colors?
And if its true that guys who say nice things get sex, why is it the wife beaters and the captain of the football team who has slept with every cheerleader in the school, gets the girls, ad the guy who says all the nice things and is always there to help, doesn't get laid? I mean, c'mon, what does a guy have to do to get laid in this world.
Of course,I'm only presenting this as food for thaught. I am not one of the guys who only talks to a girl to get laid, though some people may disagree with me on that point.
I, personally, enjoy the romantic side more than just the plain sex. I enjoy the romance of love making, and I hate the empty hollowness of emotionless sex. Thus, I wouldn't want hollow emotionless sex. It wouldn't make sense.
If I am talking to a girl, and telling her nice things, I mean them, and its that simple.
As for guy being transparent, if we, as guys, say what we don't mean to get what we want, we are deceatful, not transparent.
So, that is my confusing thaughts. Hope you enjoyed them.
I will admit when I was younger that was all I wanted. Now I am ready to find someone, I find it hard, because of the mistrust that a woman has gone through. I also think their are girls who just want sex to, I knew a couple. I also like the entire romance thing not just a roll in the hay, may be with age came wisdom and respect. Yeah I flirt, but I personally want one special girl. Just my thoughts.
Wow, that was confusing.
But let's see, the captain of the football team gets the girls, the jerk gets the girls, and the bad boy gets the girl and not the sweet nice guy; because when you are young, confidence and jerkiness seem quite similar.
Women love confidence, they really do, you can be the most awful looking creature in the galaxy, but if you are confident, you are in.
And, guys do pretend like they don't want sex, when they really do.
But, here is the thing, usually guys that are having sex, don't have to worry about looking like they are not just in it for the booty. Again, it's about confidence, if you are confident because you already have girls, then you will not care if you get the next one or not. After all, there are plenty of fish in the sea, and you are a pretty good fisherman. Your true colors don’t have to be “revealed” because they were never hidden in the first place.
Women do like a challenge.
Now, how was that for confusion?
I know people can't help who they become attracted too, but if a girl continues to gravitate towards guys loaded with confidence, then they shouldn't be surprised they keep landing with jerks.
Wow, i cant believe i am actualy actualy posting hear but,,,,
back 1 year ago I knew a guy who was just in to try and get to my pants, however, i stopped him befor it got to that point.
All so some girls may find it too dificult to do this, but if the guy is aking you feel un cufterble, say "NO!" "NO!"
I hope this helped.
Wow... I honestly didn't think I'd get a lot of responses out of this... Amazing thoughts, everyone... Cody, yes 100% agree with you. But I must add something... Girls, as much as we don't like t admit this, love it when guys treat them like shit. It's really really stupid, but they leave the sweet guy who gives them everything and adores them for who they are, for the jerky cocky guy who can talk the talk and can get them into bed with just a few sleazy, delectably sexy, emotionless complements, while staring at their tits all the while and then the next morning, or the next time girl calls the guy, he can't remember her and all she is is just another roll in the hay. I can't believeI just said that, an nor can I believe I just ranted on and on and on and I can't remember the point of what I was saying... Anyway, yeah. Girls like guys that treat them like shit, and I think some women have tried to change that stariotype, and more should keep trying
It's like you have to find a balance. I don't want some sweet guy who'll faun over me. Nor do I want an asshole. And usually, if a guy is too sweet, says too many nice things, it's mm, probably too good to be true. I've only met one guy who wants to get all touchy feely about his feelings, and is for real.
And lol OKSure, seems like you got women all figured out.
Women seem to have this idea that they can take this guy who's nothing more than a raging cockhead and actually change him. I don't know, maybe it holds true for some people, but more often than not it doesn't work. How many times have you heard a girl talking about their boyfriend and saying how he's different around her, or how he supposedly has another side to him that nobody else sees? Half of that is just the idealistic fantacy of what she'd want him to be. Also, some guys might feel pressure from other guys that might say they're whipped and what not, and i suppose the asshole qualities are sometimes to exhibit the fact that they're still in control.
As far as the original topic of this post is concerned, I hope none of us forget the overwhelming amount of women who have such a strong desire to feel needed or wanted that they end up compromising next to everything. I'm not saying all females are sluts and get with a guy because they have low self esteem and just spread. I'm simply saying, it's not all black and white when it comes to things like this. You don't just have the guy who's all about sex and the guy who wants to get to know you on a deeper level before all of that.
I agree with Cala and Ck1012. Females are the same way. Cala, you make numerous valid points... Guys and girls alike, must find a balance.
hmm, maybe I should try being an asshole in future.
I don't mind admitting that I'm a very transparent kind of guy. I say what I want and what I say is what I mean. I'm also very upfront about my feelings and my emotions. I just figure that if you're open and honest, things can get out in the open and sorted out without any stupid guess work. this seems to back fire on me though as maybe I make it to easy for the girl and remove all the challenge out of isituations. Shrugs.
I guess I'm just too nice, too open and honest and too genuine. I don't wonna sound like I'm blowing my own trumpet because I have many other faults, but I'm probably just too intense with my emotions. Who knows, not that it really matters now anyway.
Next time though, I'm gonna try being an asshole, see how we go hmm? And if that fails, I give up.
If this is truly your feeling/experience, then surely guys aren’t random at all, we’re pretty predictable? And if a guy feeds you the lines, makes all the right noises and succeeds in getting into your pants once, maybe twice, that’s possibly unlucky. But if it “keeps” happening? Either you need to wise up to the kind of men you’re dating/associating with, or you crave the attention so much that you don’t mind being used. And I’m talking generally here, not specifically.
Now, let me turn it around, purely for the role of Devil’s Advocate; why is it that all girls just want to get into a guy’s mind? You know, make him talk about his feelings and emotions, and about how much he admires the girl as a person? Who wont they just let him get a quick feel and fumble, give up the goods and move on? Or, why do they say “Oh no, I’m not looking for a relationship either” and then six months later get upset and frustrated when the guy still hasn’t “changed his mind” like she thought she could make him? Don’t jump on me, I’m just trying to make the point through exaggeration.
Ok Sure said it right; a mature and honest guy can say “I just want to be your friend, but I think you’re sexy and would like to sleep with you” and mean just that. And you can of course still say no!
I’m somewhere in the middle of both extremes; I don’t want a relationship but I’m not adverse to a bit of cuddling or good, old-fashioned sex if it’s somebody I’m attracted to and she’s thinking the same way. I wouldn’t just “hit and run”, and I don’t go out looking for one-night stands, however I’m able to have intelligent conversation and, should the discussion get around to it, be honest about what I might or might not want. I can only go on what I hear, I don’t second-guess and I don’t apologise if you feel you’re not getting what you want cos you haven’t told me! lol
well this goes true for those girls too, I am confident and outgoing, but I have attracted all the assholes, those men who want to use me, who I think are confident who have it all together, and they do not. Why is that a confident girl can't be attracted by a confident man? I mean come on, I get all the losers, and all the bitches of women get all the good guys. None of this makes any sense to me, and you would think I had to some what figured out as I am in my 30's. I know that I can not have meaningless empty sex, nor can I have the one night stand, i have to have some of connnection with the person.
So here is a interesting question: do men have to have sex with a girl in order to fall in love with her???
No, they have to have sex with her in order to have sex with her. Sometimes, that's all it means. Don't get caught up thinking there's some kind of order or checklist to falling in love; if it's goinG to happen it will, but don't try to plan, or you could be cheating yourself as well as him.
For example let's say we've had a few dates and I let you know that I'd like to sleep with you. If you don't want to, I'd rather you said no because you're not ready, (or you don't fancy me - hey, it could happen!) Don't refuse because you're waiting for some 'right' point in the relationship after which I'll be yours forever. Let's talk about it; just because We've had sex doesn't mean I'll stop fancying you.
And as I've said before, there's no Such thing as "meaningless empty sex". Sex might mean "I think you're hot" or "we're very good friends who connect and can enjoy intimacy". It doesn't have to mean "I'm yours forever" :-)
You know, there is something to that falling in love thing, only after having sex, but it might not work the way we want it to. Just the same as women, men like a challenge, and not sleeping together right away can bring more intimacy into a relationship. However, both parties have to be on the same page and agree that they want to put off sex for little while and get to know each other first. This will not work if one person is manipulating the others emotions through sex. One can manipulate someone emotionally through sex, but eventually the person will get over it, shrug off that cloud of sex that has been blocking their thoughts and be very upset at being tricked.
And as the post above pointed out, there is no check list for guys, so don't create one because you will be very disappointed.
As for the other question, why will a woman go along with a guy who does not want commitment for six months, and then turn the tables on him and expect him to change, and want something more? This is probably not turning the tables, but rather, it's the woman, or other person, thinking that even though they knew about the non commitment status, they still put in time, and emotion, and themselves into those six months, so it's only natural to wonder if it can grow into something more. After all, it was half a year, that's a pretty long time to be with someone, even if there was no official status bestowed on the relationship... It's like temping for an office for six months, at the end of that term, you might want to know if perhaps they want to hire you as a full time employee, and if you are not hired, even though you knew the job was temporary, you might still feel disappointed, upset, feel like it was a waste of time...